Airport security has gone from awkward to ridiculous. Back scatter x-rays and intimate pat-downs. And then trying to get everything back together like it was when you arrived at the airport. We lost more than the World Trade buildings on 9/11. We lost our pride and dignity.
But the adventure has just began. Onto a cement platform to wait for an automated subway train to whisk me away to the C gate corridor. When it was time to board the attendant announced there was some maintenance issue. She didn’t know what was wrong, but the engine cowling on the jet was open and the guys were working on it.
Forty-five minutes later she announced the updated status. She said they were going to try to start the engine and run it up. If that worked we would be on our way.
Sure enough, fifteen minutes later they began boarding the plane. Strangely none of the passengers had enough common sense to decide to abandon their travel plans, and the plane was still overbooked and wall-to-wall.
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The latest change in the airline business seems to be dividing people into myriad classes. Gone are the days of first class passengers and the rest of us. Now their are first, premiere, platinum, extra, business, and the rest of us. If you purchase the basic garden-variety ticket you will be given a 20 inches horizontal rectangle of sorts about 48 inches tall to spend 5 hours in your human sandwich. Of course if you are odd enough to actually have arms and legs you can purchase an upgrade to allow room for these unanticipated appendages. That costs about $50. But since I already had to pay $25 because I was odd enough to bring a suitcase on my 6-day trip, I decided to try doing without my arms and legs for the ride.
Let’s see, where was I? Oh yes, flying west. First we are to land in the Golden Gate city, and then it’s a prop-job plane up to Oregon to visit my daughter and her family. I’m guessing that part of the trip will find us with flap-holes out the side of the airplane through which we are to wildly flap our arms to make our way north. Oh, I forgot, we are not expected to have legs and arms. Well, at least we won’t have to pay extra for a place to put them!
It is often said that life is about the journey, not the destination. But whoever said that hasn’t tried to fly the unfriendly skies lately. I, for one, will be happy with the destination. I’ve had enough journey for one day.