Old and Cold are words that rhyme and appear to just roll off the tongue together easily. But real life is sometimes different than a book of rhymes. And I’m here to tell you as you age old and Cold don’t mix well together.
It doesn’t seem to get below zero very often in northern Virginia. But I suppose if you live in a big old house in northern Virginia your heater knows the most significant evening to give up the ghost is a few hours before record cold. And so it was at 10:30 on a Wednesday evening at our house.
Fortunately we are blessed with two fireplaces and I have lived in much colder places than this so I switched into survival mode (my wife calls it exaggeration mode) and decided to do fire watch duty (stay up all night and make sure things are safe and the water pipes don’t freeze) as well as periodically checking on our children and everything else to be certain we are safe.
This is where the “old” part kicks in. I did these things previously in my 20’s and 30’s when I was in the military or when I had to roll out to make emergency storm warnings when I was a broadcast announcer. At the time I lived in Tornado Alley so stormy nights in the summer were frequent and all nighters were common. Of course somehow when I was 30 my body hardly noticed it and I could sleep for 4 or 5 hours get up and march on. Oh yeah, I might need an extra cup coffee or two, but other than that the brain and the rest of my body all seemed to function okay and life went on. In fact, it wasn’t at all uncommon for that to go on for two, sometimes three nights in a row. No problem.
But now things seem to be a little different. When the heater went off the other night stress kicked in. Even though I didn’t consider it to be that cold my body thought otherwise. And by five in the morning after being awake constantly for twenty four hours, getting cold, and being stressed, my body decided it was done. Thankfully I have a son living with me who, for whatever reason I will probably never understand, likes to rise at “oh my God-thirty” in the morning. And thankfully he got up as I was writing a note telling the kids not to play in the fireplace and that the heater was broke. So he took over and I crashed.
Unfortunately I slept for three hours, such as it was, but coffee didn’t do it and I couldn’t get the old brain to kick in despite the fact I had to meet with repairmen and estimaters all day.
Old and Cold just don’t go together. Unless you’re trying to rhyme…..
There once was a night that was cold,
It happened to a man that was old;
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And suddenly his house felt like a tent!
So he came to understand cold and old aren’t for an old man;
His retirement plans changed: South and warm now is his plan!
Ha!!!